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I KICKED ETHAN IN THE FACE


M: [singing] On the stage by myself- M: Oh, hey neighbor, how’s it going? E: Hey, wassup? M: Ayy! E: You know, but you’re on the stage by yourself, and I was like: “Oh, little lonely boy looking for some company!” M: Yeah. See, I’m doing a two-man show..I was hoping that you could *BANG BANG* M: Join me on this one? E: Not only can *gun shooting sound effect* but I can also- M: That’s great. Wow. That was a cool move. Wait, let me try it. Let’s see if I can do it right. *typewriter sound effects* E: Dude, I’m totally wiggin’ out right now. M: I know, right? E: That’s incredible! M: Wow, I didn’t even know I can do that! Let me try somethin’ else! *Heavenly music plays* M: Ah! W: Did somebody summon me? M: No, that was next door. Get out of here. W: Shit. M: Now that we got that out of the way, let’s go do this. T: OK *Gun cocking sound effect* T: Flashlight B: Flashlight B: You weren’t listening. Do you know the rules sir? M: I don’t even know my dance! B: Are you ready? M: No! B: Okay, are you ready? E: Sure! B: Invisible Man in the sky, spin the wheel of dance! E: Well what we have to do first is cut them open, but it’s very important E: How many times do I have to tell you we don’t sell Raisinnets! E: We don’t sell Raisinets!! M: Well look I’m running a budget operation here, I don’t have Raisinets for you or the patient! W: But I was promised Raisinnets W: That’s the only reason I showed up. B: Yeah. Yeah, when I signed up for this- W: You stay out of this! M: You’re not a part of this! B: Wait a second! I’m important! *Bob shoots at them* *Bob shuts a window on them* *Flips them all off in anger* M: All right, honey. M: Grab on, give them a spin! M: All right honey put on your- M: Gloves and get ready for a fun night! M: All right, honey M: Remember your colostomy bag and M: Let’s get to work! M: All right, honey. I’m gonna back away slowly because I suddenly realized how weird this was B: ♫ My whole life~ ♫ ♫ I’ve been average at ♫ ♫ Everything! ♫ ♫ It’s all I’ve wanted. It’s all I’ve dreamed of- average dreams. Don’t worry, average dreams ♫ ♫ To lead a band! ♫ ♫ To direct it! ♫ ♫ To just lift it ♫ ♫ To the middle not too high not too ♫ Low solidly average B’s all around really… ♫ It’s all I’ve ever dreamed of ♫ *Blows a kiss like he’s the new World Wide Handsome* E: ‘Cuse me. I would like to make it very clear – that was an accident- No need for a flag. M: It’s okay, I think my nose is broken. M: At some point you’re gonna have to grow up and start cutting people open for their organs E: Okay, fine. I’ll do it now B: Wait, what about the Raisinets? M: We don’t have any! M: Alright. Let me tell you when you see a horse sized duck – just give him one of these. B: Why are you chopping those people in half? *Kicks Ethan in the face* B: Okay, okay. Break it up,the round is over. The round is over. M: Knock knock knock knock knock knock. B: Are you serious, mom? M: Honey? M: I just want to make sure you’re all right in there. M: You know I’m always there for you. B: I told you at the door – I can do this by myself now. M: Look- You’re only 16 B: No! Mom, I’ve got this under- M: Honey! B: Geez, why did you put all these windows in the bathroom? M: Just want to make sure you’re okay. Alright, honey. B: Oh, my god, mom! M: Look, it’s okay- B: It’s not okay!
M: Hey- You’re my little baby And I just want to be there for you. Always. B: Please don’t M: Alright, fair enough… We all have to grow up someday. I’m just gonna close the door *Mark does a squeak noise* M: And I’m gonna listen through the radio and just let me know- *Radio turning on sound* M: If you need anything, I’m here for you, baby. E: Hey, it’s me Andy, and I’m here too, and I’m also here for you E: Just want to let you know okay, bye! *Bob sighs* M: ♪ Juno~ ♪ ♪ I love you… ♪
(crowd awws at M’s love for B) ♪ My little sweetheart~ ♪ ♪ And you’ll always be my baby ♪ (T: baby~)
♪ Juno.. ♪
(E: Juno~ harmonizing) ♪ I love you~ ♪
(E: We love you~) ♪ When you’re taking a poo, I’ll be there for you~ ♪ (E & T: TAKING A POOOOOOOO~!) ♪ Oh, Juno~ ♪ T, E & M (harmonize) : ♪ JUNO! ♪ (E: TAKING A POOP!) M: I love you… (whispers) (T: I LOVE YOU!) E: There are no Raisinets here! W: I want Raisinets! E: If we find Raisinets in your body E: you’re gonna be in big trouble mister W: Oh! Oh! I promise I don’t have any Raisinets! M: Well you know… M: My grandma had a saying for this very specific circumstance M: She said “If you ever come across a guy in the middle of the woods with an ax chopping up bodies in half and M: He makes an excuse that he’s putting him in a cemetery because he’s trying to save space She- *growls* T: She said, “Ducks are pretty great aren’t they mate?” M: Wait no I was an idiot for a second, that’s not what my grandma said sorry about that E: What she really said was, “It’s not a phase mom!” I think- M: Oh God… sorry, I went in a fugue state you know M: I don’t know who I am at some points, but I know who my grandma was and she said- M: “You’re as pretty as a possum in a blender” E: I just want to preface this this is not about the getting laid part. It’s about a different part We’ve become Was that a ding or was that not a ding god I E: I didn’t hear one. Sorry. I’m also going crazy W: And Uranus is the laughingstock of the solar system, but why? W: We should respect Uranus. Uranus deserves love and attention. W: Uranus deserves hope! W: It deserves feelings! W: It deserves love! W: Love Uranus! W: No! No! M: Give me some that, oh yeah M: I’m having second thoughts… E: ♪ I’ve never seen something so beautiful- ♪ E: ♪ Like this sandwich! ♪ E: ♪ Can’t express how much I love ♪ E: ♪ This sandwich. It’s got pickles and onions. ♪ E: ♪ It’s got mustard and cheese ♪ E: ♪ I just want to eat this sandwich ♪ E: ♪ I’m begging on my knees. I love this sandwich! ♪ E: ♪ I love this sandwich, please let me eat my sandwich♪ E: ♪ I know it’s not lunch time, but it can be lunchtime right now If you let me eat my sandwich ♪ E: ♪ Yeah~ ♪ W: Woah! Woah! Woah! W: That is an above average sandwich! M: You get that extraordinarily ass out of my town! T: I’m still here telling you there are no raisinets and if you find them in your body… You’re… I’m gonna slice you elsewhere. M: Wait. I can’t let it end like this not for my team M: I invoke article 32-b/CAB AY CMCA E: What? *Mark’s mating call* *Still does it even though he’s supposed to switch* M: AH! Rrr ret M: ooo Ma ma M: ee ba bap bo M: Are you turned on now? T: But my mom has the solution to your problem M: I know this. I know his mom Anyway, here’s Wonderwall B: Eeeeeaaaall B: yyyaaaooooww B: No! Anything but my Wonderwall! M: I didn’t think that anything was gonna happen, but my hands are magic *Mark’s hands fart* M: Alright enough for two oh yeah, always good to end on a fart. Joke yeah, that’s perfect alright, so that’s enough of that

100 thoughts on “I KICKED ETHAN IN THE FACE

  1. The Dance Battle, literally turned into, a dance BATTLE. I’m just imagining everything else before the time until Mark karate kicked Ethan in the face lol (Edit: Btw the scene is at 3:43)

  2. Anybody watching after Unnus Annus and is thinking about all the painful things Mark and Ethan put each other through

  3. I love how 2017 Mark immediately checks if he’s alright after kicking him in the face but 2019 Mark after kicking him in the you know where he laughs at him😂

  4. Mark: SQUEEEE
    Bob: OH MY G O D MOM
    Mark: Loook… It's okayyy :3
    Bob: IT'S N O T O K A Y Σ(・□・;)
    Mark: Look… you're my little baby… I just wanna be there for u…
    Bob:
    Mark: Always :3
    Bob, horrified: … please don't.

  5. isn't it cute how Markiplier hugs Ethan after kicking him in the face on accident but now him and Ethan kinda fight like siblings which is even more adorable

  6. Will there ever be recordings available for us… non Americans? I'm from South Africa and you guys arent coming here.

  7. Highlights:
    “Your anus is the laughing stock”
    “Your anus deserves love”
    And my personal favourite
    “Everyone love your anus”

  8. What’s the song used during the dance battles when they are done it’s so nice, the song is at 3:07 it’s so techno 8-bit and I liek it

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